The Bondage of Hidden Struggles

Have you ever felt like you had to hide what you have gone through because it feels like you’re the only one struggling? If you said yes, you’re in good company. Me too!

Recently I realized that when we talk about our struggles we break free of the bondage that holds us to the mental pressure of them. When I posted about my body image struggles it felt like a weight lifted off of me. I feel like I no longer have to worry about what someone else thinks about me because I have let it out that I have struggled and that I am healing. I let the pressure of perfection go as I shared about my struggles.

Well, as I venture into talking about marriage I’m believing the same will happen about all the things I have tried to keep hidden all these years.

Now if you aren’t like me you might be wondering why I have kept them hidden? A few reasons:
Because it feels safer to act like everything is okay even when it’s not.
Because it’s hard to think about others talking about you. AKA gossip!
Because it feels uncomfortable for people to know we are struggling and don’t have it all together.
Because not addressing it may make it go away.

But let’s be real, hiding doesn’t fix anything. It just feels so lonely. And no one is perfect!
In fact it also doesn’t help others who are struggling. Which is where I hope this blog goes, to helping others in the same boat I have been in for years.

If you’ve struggled with marriage and you’re on social media I’m sure you have felt the pangs of loneliness and the frustrations with all the “perfect” looking marriages out there.
I’m sure you’ve wondering why yours is so hard and theirs is so perfect.
Or wondering where you went wrong and why you can’t seem to fix it no matter how much you try.

Well I’m here to tell you that you aren’t alone! You aren’t the only one who struggles! In fact I bet there’s so many of us couples who struggle in silence, but it’s time for me to break the silence so we can stop feeling so alone.

If you haven’t read my blog post called FOLLOWING GOD’S LEAD let me recap for you real quick about our marriage.
My husband and I have been married almost 10 years. We have gone through struggles since the beginning from finances to trust issues to infertility. And on top of that we have argued about pretty much everything you could imagine.

We are far from the perfect marriage. Far from what others would classify to be a dream marriage. But we have never given up on each other. We have fought both about stupid stuff and to keep our marriage together.

If you can relate to that, I’m sorry! It does suck, but God has a plan for us and can use our struggles to glorify Him! …I know that doesn’t really make it feel any better…

But maybe the whole reason my husband and I have struggled is so that I can help others with encouragement. To give hope to others that we have the Lord to help us through it and make us a stronger couple. And for me, that does make it a bit better.

Whatever the reason is that we go through these hard times, know God is with you and you aren’t the only one who struggles. You matter, your feelings matter and your marriage matters. Keep your eyes fixed on God because He is the only constant in this life.

And please, talk to someone! Get it out in some way that you are struggling because it really does bring a sort of freedom that I know we could all benefit from.
If you don’t have anyone to talk to, reach out to me. I understand and I will be here to listen and encourage you!

I hope this post gives you encouragement.
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