To the mom who has ever looked at her reflection and frowned. I hope you read this and can look at yourself with love again.
One of the most challenging things for me since becoming a mom has been body image. I know I’m not alone in this as I see it all over the internet that moms have a hard time with their new body.
We birth these beautiful babies, everyone comes and gawks all over them and then we’re left standing in the mirror wondering who is looking back at us. And when we start working to get our body back and it doesn’t bounce back like it used to we feel lost and frustrated. Then if we add in birth complications, c-sections and postpartum depression/anxiety, not only are we battling our reflection but also our emotions and healing.
It’s been a battle I’ve personally dwelt with over the past 8+ years. I have had 4 kids and 1 miscarriage and have tried so hard to get my body back multiple times between pregnancies. Sometimes I have been successful but only in the fact of losing weight, I can’t say I was healthy just because I was a smaller size. Now as I try to lose weight in a healthier way I have been less than successful. And as the frustration continued and I wanted to just jump back into my old diet plan I decided to text my sister and get her advice instead.
I told her what I was thinking about doing and she simply asked “Why?” She didn’t judge or try to convince me otherwise she just simply asked why. When I told her I just can’t lose weight doing what I’ve been doing she replied with “Maybe you don’t need to lose weight.” Can you imagine my reaction? “WHAT?? Has she not looked at me??” And she followed up by saying “Maybe your body is trying to heal from all the childbearing you’ve been doing.”
Mind. BLOWN. She’s probably absolutely correct. My body has gone through so many things in the past year and all I’ve been doing is adding more to it by stressing over what my reflection looks like.
In 9 years I have had 4 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage, many rounds of fertility meds, 3 c-sections, 1 VBAC home birth, 4+ years of breastfeeding, plus multiple health issues within all those pregnancies.
My body has gone through all of that and I haven’t loved it for it. I haven’t given myself any credit other than “Yep, I did that.” I have completely forgotten to love myself enough to honor it and let it heal.
So if you are in the same boat as I am, first of all here’s a virtual hug, second you are amazing and beautiful just the way you are and third please sit for a minute and think about the amazing things your body has gone through and honor it. Then let it heal if you also have healing to do.
As each of us continue down the road of motherhood, no matter how our journey started, I hope we can look in the mirror and see the strong and beautiful women we have become. I hope we can stop stressing about the reflection and give our body time to heal. I hope we can love that woman as if we would love our daughter when they are in our position. I hope we can look on ourselves with a new found love of healing and joy for who we are today.
We may never look like the woman who stared back at us before our birth, but we can look at this new woman and love her for all of her curves, jiggles, marks and scars.
Momma, you are amazing. You are strong. You are BEAUTIFUL right NOW. You don’t have to lose the weight to be beautiful and you don’t have to do your hair and makeup to be beautiful, because you are beautiful right this moment just the way you are. Please give yourself love and grace and give your body what it needs to heal.
With Love, Elia
[…] we break free of the bondage that holds us to the mental pressure of them. When I posted about my body image struggles it felt like a weight lifted off of me. I feel like I no longer have to worry about what someone […]